eventually…

 

Somewhere in Alabama, inside a Starbucks within a Target I asked the nice woman “Excuse me, but where (I hesitate)… where are we?”

It took me about fifteen hours to drive from Longview, Texas to Gainesville, Georgia. I drove the lonely and open rode by myself and had many revelations. I listened to eight hours of podcast which passed the time but I also learned something about myself. I put myself down a lot. How? Well, I have this idea in my head that I don’t actually have my life together.

I had this funny saying that became all too real after coming home from the race. I would say the word “eventually” a lot. I will have my own home…eventually. I will get a plant… eventually. I will have my own space and bed…eventually. I will have a husband and kids… eventually. I will get my life together…eventually. You get the idea, right?

I had created this list in my head. My eventually list. I would come up with things to add all the time. I felt like I at some point would get these things. Eventually, my life would just fall into place.

As I was driving here I kept thinking about this list. I was thinking about how I view myself as someone who doesn’t have it all together. And If I think this about myself then so will everyone else. And if everyone else thinks this then they won’t want to support me.

But no… I am forgetting something. It is about God. It is about what He is doing in me. I moved to Georgia for CGA or Center for Global Action with Adventures in Missions. I will be here until September or maybe even longer, who really knows. But as I was driving I didn’t know how to tell people about what I was doing. I didn’t know how to ask for money AGAIN. I didn’t know how to tell people what I was doing when I felt like I was failing.

So I am going to take that pride and fear and give it to the Lord. I am not going to underestimate what the Lord is capable of. He can move mountains all I have to do is ask.

I am here to learn. I am here to grow deeper in His word. I am here to be discipled by someone within Adventures staff. I am here to read tons of books and take on new challenges. I am here to be poured in to and prayed over. I am here to be broken and to heal. I am here to learn and grow so I can lead others in the mission field.

Eventually, I will have all the things. I will have the home, the family and I really hope I have my own bed one day. But right now I am who He, our Father, has made me to be. I can work towards all of my goals now, not eventually. So I ask you to pray for me. I ask that you pray for these challenging and healing four months I am going to have while here in Georgia. I ask you also to prayerfully consider partnering with me as learn and grow in the process. I want you to be a part of it and ask all the questions you have. Trust me, it isn’t fun asking for support and donations. But I trust in the Lord and what He is doing. So eventually, I can take what I am learning and apply it to future racers and people in my life.

I am here living with six other women who are involved with Adventures in Missions. I have a home, I have an actual bed to sleep on. I got a plant. So in order to stay here, keeping learning and live in my new home I have to raise support. How much? $5,950 dollars. Yes, this is a lot but it is nothing to the Lord and what He can do. If you’d like to be a part of this process I would be so thankful and excited to have your support. Whether its $10/month or $100/ month I would be so grateful.

I will be writing more blogs. And eventually writing a newsletter. So subscribe to my blog, comment with your email (for future newsletter) or call me anytime! I’d love to tell you about what the Lord is doing in my life.

 

with love,

Ashleigh